Daniel Tosh disses Sacramento with frat-tastic humor

Daniel Tosh isn’t above harming animals if you don’t laugh.

Striding confidently onstage to thunderous applause (and some concerned gasps) with a fluffy Maltese in each arm, the popular comedian laid out the stakes to a sold-out Sacramento Memorial Auditorium audience: Enjoy the show or else the host of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 would pound some puppies.

The dogs never had anything to worry about—but everyone else did.

The still-boyish 36-year-old with the Eddie Haskell smile makes a great living saying the wrongest thing at the rightest time.

Indeed, that Cheshire grin has served him well, allowing him to craft meticulous but merciless jokes about race (“Whenever I watch a porn and there’s a black guy, I get really sad. Because he’ll be the first to die.”), the Bible (“basically 4,000 pages of cock blocking”) and immigration (“[Canadians] have the best wall in the world: America.”)—yet always coming off as more naughty than cruel.

Well, for the most part.

Tosh’s bit thanking Osama bin Laden for inspiring the stepped-up security measures that have spared him from walking his girlfriend all the way to the airplane terminal came perilously close to alienating some audience members.

But those people who don’t find humor in controversial topics is a group the Florida native wants nothing to do with—a point he made while joking about his visit with a terminally ill 17-year-old from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

“Yes, there is [something funny about controversial subjects] if you write a good joke,” he told the crowd. “Now let’s get back to this kid so his death wasn’t in vain.”

For all of Tosh’s digs about relationships and women—he added a disclaimer to his jokes about being able to punch women of a similar weight class when he felt the reaction was a bit too enthusiastic (in other words, guys shouldn’t actually do it)—the audience was almost evenly divided between devoted frat boys and adoring sorority girls.

“His comedy is definitely geared toward men, but chicks still love going there,” said one fan.

Still, for an equal-opportunity cultural assassin like Tosh, the majority of his audience’s 3,500 attendees were monochromatically pale. The most noticeable person of color, in fact, was Tosh’s opening act, comedian Dwayne Perkins.

Perhaps a sign of Tosh’s cultural influence, the crowd also included a number of wannabe wiseacres (present company included), bros who sang ironic songs about seeing Tosh on the way to the theater, or who shouted “Loud noises!” when it was time to cheer. These are the fans who either want to hang out with the comedian or replace him, both of which Tosh pledges to avoid at all costs.

“Look, I have little to no feeling for you,” the comedian said during one prolonged ovation, before acknowledging, “I’m one of the few people who tours and loses fans, I’ll be honest.”

It’s unlikely the Comedy Central personality lost any that night, even when he leveled a killer line at his host city:

Arnold Schwarzenegger gets fucking shit on for banging ugly chicks? That’s what you do when you’re in Sacramento.”