Thanks for Krampus

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Hey, thanks! This year the thankfulness is oozing out of Arts DEVO like so much gravy-and-melted-butter lava overflowing his mountain of mashed potatoes.

First, I’m thankful that we caught the smelly hippie douchebag just before he sprayed his musty hippie piss all over the DEVO family car as we were returning from a cozy stroll through the downtown Christmas Preview. He still befouled the perimeter with several bongs worth of his liquid stank while staring slack-jawed at the dancing bears circling his head, but I’ll take the fact that he didn’t strip away the paint with his unholy discharge as a minor Christmas miracle.

Second, I’m thankful the election season is over so that I don’t have to listen (as much) to both the liberal and conservative zombies as they moan for each other’s brains. I loathe both sides equally when it comes to their knee-jerk partisanship as they’ve fallen in line with the divisive storytellers who reduce Americans to simply being on either a red or blue side of a line. You should all be more mindful of and thankful for the fact that, in nearly all areas of the country, the lines are much blurrier and more purple in hue.

Third, and what I’m actually truly thankful for, is the fact that this Thanksgiving Day marks 20 years since Mrs. DEVO and I were engaged in a cheesy Italian restaurant in Redding. How she said yes to a guy whose most fly article of clothing was a $5 silver (silver!) polyester sweater from Goodwill is still a mystery, a wonderful, enduring mystery.

Directed by Chico! Megan Peterson, a former Chico girl who is making good in the TV/film industry in Los Angeles, will be screening her first feature film, Heathens and Thieves, at the El Rey Theatre Sunday, Nov. 25, 4 p.m. The western is about a Chinese rancher and his family fighting off drifters, lawmen and hired guns who are trying to steal gold they believe he’s hiding, and it’s been winning awards at various film festivals. Peterson, a Pleasant Valley High grad, co-directed the film with John Douglas Sinclair, and the two will be on hand with lead Gwendoline Yeo (pictured with gun) to answer questions after the screening. The film is scheduled to be released on DVD this winter.

“On the 30th day of Krampus …” I just remembered that this is the year I planned on riding with Krampus for the holidays. His rambunctious approach to the season and his no-nonsense techniques for getting the wee ones to behave are a lot more fun than the usual caroling and soul-killing trips to Mall Land. Plus, there is no art on the Internet that is more rad than that made featuring images of Krampus. None! And that is reason enough to stock up on chains, beer and bells in time for Krampusnacht!