William Ware Theiss, the costume designer for Star Trek, had a formula for generating sex appeal. He theorized that an outfit’s sexiness is directly proportional to the degree to which it appears to be falling off the body. That said, everyone ought to look damn nigh irresistible at Danny Secretion’s Lame-Ass Birthday Bash because it’s a “doo wop sock hop toga party!” Wrap yourself in a sheet (taking care to let it slip off one shoulder) and hop to the Capitol Garage, where a bevy of local bands will perform songs from the 1950s and 1960s. Such musical time-travelers include the Secretions, the Knockoffs, the Riff Randals, the Helper Monkeys, 3FF, Final Summation, Sunshine Smile and, according to the promotional poster, the Beatles. A costume contest and a hickey booth are also promised. Bring birthday greetings to 1427 L Street this Friday at 8 p.m. The show is all ages, and the $5 cover benefits local musician Jay Onyskin’s fight against cancer. Visit www.wesecreteyousuck.com for info.