Old raps, big maps

Control your hoes, Ludacris.

Control your hoes, Ludacris.

Auntie Ruth, who pretty much missed rap as a cultural moment—dunno, she was kinda busy and the punk that preceded rap took so much energy—has learned just recently of Ludacris’ rap “Area Codes,” in which he raps the many area codes in which he has hoes. This, courtesy of Stephanie Gray, who did a map entitled, aptly, “Area Codes in Which Ludacris Claims to Have Hoes.” It’s Googleable—yes, 916 is included—and it’s a big ol’ map.

Aunt Ruth wonders whether Ludacris, if he could just centralize his hoes, would significantly lower his carbon footprint? Really, having hoes in Nebraska? Is that necessary? This map virtually guarantees Ludacris won’t get a cameo in An Inconvenient Truth 2, and besides, shouldn’t misogyny, like capitalism or energy consumption, know some bounds?

Park the jet, pal, and consider centering your hoes within easy biking distance. Become Ludacris, the biking hoe visitor. Aunt Ruth will buy you a little bell for the handlebars.

Or perhaps Ludacris is just marking trends. Governing magazine reports that fewer than 1 percent of Americans bike to work. Compared this to Amsterdam in the Netherlands and Copenhagen in Denmark, where up to 40 percent of all trips are made on two wheels. Red tape, legal concerns and “the way things are” in urban design may be part culprit in America. Cities for Cycling is an information clearinghouse encouraging municipalities to think broadly on this; clearly, more thought is needed.

You Republican? From Arizona? No problem with pesticides on food? Tired of folks from Mexico stealingyourjob? The United Farm Workers have a website where you can sign up to be trained in the Seasonal Harvest Arts by skilled professionals (www.takeourjobs.org). Because you know you want to work out in 105-degree weather on your hands and knees picking vegetables. “Farm workers are ready to welcome citizens and legal residents who wish to replace them in the field, [utilizing their] knowledge and staff to help connect the unemployed with farm employers.” See The Colbert Report, on July 8, for his take on the whole thing. May the tea party dispatch their young into the fields as a fundraising source. May their youth grow straight and tall.