Drills sans spill

Cap that thing.

Cap that thing.

(Come friend Aunt Ruthie on Facebook and let’s hang out.)

Being born in California breeds a certain organic, sustainable, how-green-is-your-salad parochialism in Aunt Ruth—surely she ain’t alone in this—one aspect of which is the certainty that farmers’ markets can’t really exist in the state of New York. Really. You know this is true. Maybe you like the Knicks, or saw snow in Central Park one winter, or there’s that Cary Grant movie. Ruth shrugs: Whatever your strange New York fetish might be, first, keep it to yourself, and secondly, know that farmers’ markets don’t belong in New York. They belong here. Banjo on my knee. All that. Eh?

Well, wrong: Currently, there is a contest to crown “America’s Favorite Farmers Market,” and a California farmers’ market is duking it out with a market in Rochester, N.Y. This makes Aunt Ruth want to export earthquakes back East and show the Beltway what moving and shaking really feels like.

Nevermind that the vote-leading California market is in Davis (which has, to its credit, a helluva market on Saturdays and Wednesdays), or that of the 13 Sacramento farmers’ markets listed on www.california-grown.com, only one Sacramento market is even on the ballot (Sunday’s market at Eighth and W streets, under the freeway). Let us rile up out of Golden State pride. Just because we can’t pass a budget doesn’t mean we aren’t tops at buying vegetables out of a truck! Vote California farmers’ markets at www.farmland.org/vote by August 31, lest we all sink into the ocean and the Kings move to Buffalo.

However innately green our state might be, however, it is a green that knows some bounds. The University of California’s Matthew Kahn and Matthew Kotchen have a paper that declares “an increase in a state’s unemployment rate decreases Google searches for ‘global warming’ and increases searches for ‘unemployment.’” Further, “In California, we find that an increase in a county’s unemployment rate is associated with a significant decrease in county residents choosing the environment as the most important policy issue.” Sigh. Such preference for bucks over ducks has been true a long time, too long. How much longer?

Meanwhile, while on the subject of moving and shaking, how ’bout a pack of Oil Spill Condoms? With cheeky tag lines like “Drill without the spill” and “Great for plugging holes,” they’re a must for every bedside table, purse and fanny pack: 20 percent of the profits are donated to the Gulf Coast Oil Spill Fund. Visit www.oilspillcondoms.com. Happy gushing!