Doggy poo’s stinky, bagged or not

Robert N. Austin is a third-generation Sacramentan and a retired police lieutenant who lives in the Pocket-Greenhaven area.

A line must be drawn in the sand. I’m throwing down the gauntlet and picking a fight.

Sacramento abounds with dog owners—good folks who walk their pets almost every day. As responsible owners, most carry with them plastic bags to collect any poop the dog emits along the way. All is good—so far. It’s what happens next that annoys me.

Dog owners fling bags of dog poop—or poo bags—on the first pile of curbside green waste they locate. Poo bags adorn green-waste piles as ornaments adorn Christmas trees. I saw one pile with nearly 30. A green-waste pile can be of any size to attract poo bags. Two twigs and a leaf are generally sufficient, although, a single small pine cone can qualify.

This wouldn’t be so bad, except the city of Sacramento’s schedule for pickup of curbside green waste is, at best, undependable. This stuff can languish in the street for weeks. Green waste in the street is not attractive under any circumstances, but when decorated with poo bags, it dramatically degrades the appearance of the neighborhood. And, worse yet, they stink.

All is not lost; creative ideas abound. One Pocket Road resident boldly spray painted the street in red, “NO DOG S—T.” It worked!

Alas, the paint wore off.

I suggest requiring the use of plastic bags perforated with three-eighths-of-an-inch holes. Imagine picking up pet droppings that squish out the openings. Going further, we can show neighborhood solidarity with “Ban Poo Bags” lawn signs—all made from recycled political-campaign signage. It would be a far better use of the signs.

I’m calling for a populist uprising against poo bags. Not since 1776 has there been a greater need for revolution. Let voices ring forth from every rooftop, from every pulpit, and from every street corner calling for freedom from the tyranny of poo bags. Who will step forward to join this noble cause?