We’re packed like sardines in a can here on the floor of San Diego’s Qualcomm Stadium, where 300,000 people, including yours truly, have fled to escape the raging inferno that Southern California has become. Make that 299,999 people, ‘cause this one is here for one reason and one reason only: The governor of the greatest nation-state the world has ever known, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is due to appear live any second.
Here he is now! See how his orange-tinted visage casts a soothing spell over the crowd. Hear the sincere tone of his voice.
“We were concerned, do we have enough cots down here, do we have enough blankets, do we have enough food, do we have water, do we have the baby formulas, do we have the diapers, do we have enough toilet paper, do we have enough toilets?” he asks. “Do we have everything that we need for the people here so they can stay overnight here?”
We do if these cots come in queen size, honey!
Mama kids, but only slightly. As much as she yearns to drink in the governor’s tangerine glow, as much as he seems to feel her pain (and whatever else he desires), she understands he’s really down here to ensure well-heeled Hollywood pals such as Mel Gibson, Tom Hanks, Goldie Hawn, Pamela Anderson, Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Sting and Diana Ross get out alive. That’s a given. But heck, a girl can dream a little, can’t she?