Work for higher

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at

Good day. I really need help: I am a 60-year-old medical marijuana patient, and I recently got offered a position that requires a drug test. I really want this job. Beside abstaining from 4/20, what else can I do to pass his drug test? I have about three weeks. Please help. Thank you.

—Loki Downlow

What a drag. California is an “at-will” state, so employers can definitely fire you or refuse to hire you if you use cannabis, even though cannabis is now legal. And before you ask, this has already been challenged in court (See Ross v. RagingWire Telecommunications, Inc., 2008). It’s a shame, really. THC can stay in the bloodstream long after the effects of the drug have worn off, so even though a person may test positive for marijuana, it doesn’t mean they were high at work. According to the internet, three weeks is just about enough time for someone to pass a drug test, although some chronic users (hehe) need about a month. Abstaining from cannabis and hoping for the best (drink lots and lots of water) is probably the most you can do, but I have heard of people purchasing “detox drinks” online or at head shops. These drinks are supposed to help you pass a drug test, but I can’t vouch for their effectiveness. We need to change state law to allow cannabis users to keep their jobs, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen anytime in the near future. Good luck. I hope you get the job.

I do not smoke, but for several years I have been buying 4 ounces of cannabutter (around 2,300 THC) and making brownies. Last week, I was told that with the new laws, these products would not be available. Is this the case as you understand the law? What would you suggest that I buy, and where might I find it? Thank you.

—Dee Dub

The new cannabis law states that all cannabis edibles contain no more than 10 milligrams of THC per serving and contain no more than 10 servings per package. While most hardcore cannabis eaters may not be happy with these new rules, they make a lot of sense. No one wants to deal with some newbie that accidentally ate 1,000 milligrams of THC because the chocolate bar scarfed down was delicious and deceptively powerful. However, according to state law, medical cannabis patients can still buy super potent edibles at licensed dispensaries until July 1. Your options are simple: Either stock up on your favorite butter (just put it in the freezer) right now, or learn to make your own hella strong cannabutter at home. Weed, butter, a crockpot and about three hours are all you need. Also… I suggest that you maybe don’t just make brownies. Butter is versatile. Try a nice cake or some cinnamon rolls. Maybe a nice alfredo sauce. Now I’m hungry. Happy cooking.