My first time

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at

How old were you when you first tried weed?

—Hap E. Berf-Day

One time in the eighth grade, Alex Studer (who had just gotten back from boarding school) and I snuck off to smoke a joint during lunch. That was probably my first time. I forgot I had a math test after lunch, and I failed miserably. My teacher and I were both very disappointed. I tried it one other time in eighth grade, but my mom busted me. I wasn’t grounded. She just explained that weed, like drinking and other drugs, is for adults. Then she called my dad. He said the same thing. If my parents agree on something, it must be true, so I didn’t smoke again until college. I didn’t smoke every day until I joined the workforce.

Good question, because it leads me to this point: Legalizing marijuana and treating it like any other social drug (alcohol, caffeine, sugar) doesn’t lead to increased use by children. In fact, a report from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that marijuana use among Colorado teenagers has decreased since pot legalization. Duh. Making cannabis more available to adults doesn’t make it easier (or more desirable) for teenagers. In fact, it removes the allure. Education, not prohibition, is always the best way to deal with drugs and drug use. Don’t do drugs until you get to college. Have a good day.

Best strain you’ve found for movie watching? Why?

—Cyn E. Phile

Weed and movies go together like weed and movies. I don’t know why. I prefer a good hybrid for the movies. You don’t want to be all amped up on sativas while you are trying to sit still and pay attention, but you don’t want to to fall asleep under a heavy indica. Blue Dream is a good choice. Delicious, and it has a great balance, so you can sit still very comfortably, but you probably won’t pass out. If you are looking for a list of good movies to watch while stoned, check out Reefer Movie Madness: The Ultimate Stoner Film Guide by Shirley Halperin and Steve Bloom. It’s awesome. By the way, I called Steve to ask what his favorite movie watching strain is, and he also said Blue Dream, so now I feel like a genius. Enjoy your movie.

Going to get some concentrates for the first time this weekend. what would you suggest? I’ve heard good stuff about live resin, for flavor and whatnot.

—Kiefer Dabberman

Live resin (hash made with a heat press from a fairly fresh cannabis plant) is delicious, but it has a short shelf life. I like the classics, like a good cold water hash. Frenchy Cannoli and Dank Duchess make really good concentrates. Look for a clean pesticide test—cannabis concentrates are in fact concentrated cannabis, so if the cannabis used to make the hash is full of pesticides, the hash will have elevated pesticide levels. Follow your nose and make sure you have some snacks on hand. Hash gives me crazy munchies.