The Girl Next Door

Rated 1.0 This ridiculous male fantasy attempts and pathetically fails at glamorizing and legitimizing pornography the same way Pretty Woman and Risky Business prettied up prostitution. High-school senior Matthew (played by Emile Hirsch) nearly derails his college plans when semi-retired porn star Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert) moves in next-door and prods him to live life in the fast lane. The two mismatched hot-to-trotters check out each others “packages” in a farfetched “you saw mine, so now show me yours” introductory sequence. Matthew and his geek friends Klitz (honestly, I’m not making this up) and Eli then try to wrest Danielle from the clutches of her past manager-boyfriend (a profoundly sleazy Timothy Olyphant) in a story that involves the making of a prom-night stag film and the embezzlement of money earmarked for bringing a Cambodian foreign-exchange student to America.