Roll, baby, role

Ready for my grope-up

Thumbing through a commie Bay Area rag last month, I spotted a movie-house advertisement for a screening of Running with Arnold. The documentary was long gone by the time my eyes hit the ad, but further Googling revealed it was originally released in 2006, concerned My Fleshy Strudel’s rise to political superstar and was available as a media screener. So in my curlers, robe and fluffy slippers, I filled a bowl with Jiffy Pop and plopped in the DVD last Saturday night. Color me blown away; Running with Arnold is the feel-good hit of the political season. It should be in a time capsule to prove to future generations why their ancestors sandblasted Abe Lincoln’s face off Mt. Rushmore and replaced it with My Big Oompah’s. Narrated by Alec Baldwin, Running documents its titular character going from skinny Austrian kid ignored by his father to universally admired bodybuilder to opportunistic post-SoCal earthquake brick layer to Venice, Calif., slumlord to action-movie superstar to opportunistic post-recall governor to … well, as one wag puts it, U.S. president is the role Schwarzenegger was born to play. Marvel as he defies expectations, bitch-slaps political gotchas from his gropey past and basks in the public’s endless love for his insatiable ambition. The pic features this deliciously nasty swipe from comedian Will Durst at that witch Maria for coupling with the Herr who should be mine: “What is this? Phase one of some secret project to breed a bulletproof Kennedy?” Pfft! As RWA proves, we’ll forget all about Kennedys by the time Arnold is through.