Party poopers

Conservatism, dead here since the arrival of Governor Populist Pecs, is on its last legs everywhere else in this great land. Thus, you have Mitt Romney retreating back into the men’s section of the Sears Catalog from which he sprang and this Huckabee fellow failing to catch fire anywhere that people speak in multiple syllables. My Main Moderate Man’s main moderate man, Senator John McCain, has the GOP presidential nomination sewn up, despite the misguided efforts of Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and other partisan hacks who’d rather derail the Straight Talk Express than win an election. The people are not with them but Schwarzenegger, and by extension McCain, who not only will have gathered enough delegates to cinch his own party’s nomination, he remains the only GOP candidate who matches up well against Hillary or Obama in the general election. Get over it, conservaturds! No matter how hard you hit Arnie over gays, guns, taxes, health care and immigration, he racks up something you no longer can: votes and positive polling numbers. McCain’s the same. But now these dickweeds are getting hit where it really hurts: the wallet. Major California GOP donor and strong Schwarzensupporter Larry Dodge is blasting the party chairman for ineffectiveness, financial mismanagement and promoting “conservative purity” over winning elections. If things don’t change but quick, the American Sterling chief executive strongly hints he’ll withhold the $3 million check he was going to cut to retire the party’s long-standing debt. Reacting to this threat, an apologetic GOP spokesman vowed his party will deliver California to McCain. Like it’s theirs to give! Only one man has that power, and he’ll use it with or without his party.

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