Weak end at Bernie’s

You people disgust me.

You killed Bernie.

Bernie is, or was, ABX1 1, otherwise known as the Gov. Arnold Schwarzenshtupme-Assembly Speaker Fabian Núñez almost universal health-care plan, also known as Bernie, for the bill’s likeness to a certain early-’90s movie character who, despite his untimely deadness, was paraded around by a pair of losers. Hmm, how’d they come up with that name?

The demise of Bernie, with its sole vote of support in the Senate Health Committee on Monday, representing My Main Man’s biggest legislative defeat until his next one, was blamed on Big Tobacco and state nurses union lobbying, a nonpartisan fiscal analyst’s piss-poor report on the $14.9 billion scheme’s financial skivviness, Democrat poseurs pretending to be—get this—fiscally responsible, Republican dickweeds opposed to any plan that keeps people who vote against them healthy, and the ineptitude of Núñez, Senate President Pro Tem Don Perata and (gulp) My Honey Bunches of Oaf.

As if.

I blame you. Unlike Proposition 13, Proposition 187 and Dancing with the Stars, not enough of you blindly latched onto this sucker from the start.


You have the power to make things right, however. It’s dead for the next year under the Dome, but you can support a voter initiative for voodoo economical, insurance-mandated, multi-billion-dollar, almost universal health care. A major Arnie push here, a sulking Indian TV spot there and—BOOM—state law!

Call it Weekend at Bernie’s II. After all, it’s not like that picture flopped.