Make him call, y’all

I can tell by looking at you that, other than this space, you get your AS news from traditional TV, radio and print outlets. You’re reading about the big fella employing the old Ronald Reagan/George Deukmejian/Lil’ Petey Wilson trick of vowing never to raise taxes while raising every conceivable state fee. You’re devouring reports on more bad budget news coming from the Wicked Witch of the West Wing, legislative budget analyst Elizabeth Hill. You’re slobbering over notices on Bee scribe Dan Weintraub’s new book Party of One: Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Rise of the Independent Voter. (News flash: He is not, repeat, not a prima donna. No, silly, I mean Arnold, not Weintraub.)

Ah, dear readers, if you’d only ignore that sensationalistic dreck for the real news, in this case carried by the One India entertainment wire and the Web site for Fox 23-TV of Tulsa, Okla., based on a New York Daily News gossip item. You’d then know that pop ’tard Britney Spears wants to phone Arnold. (Get in line, sweetie.) Brit’s estranged pal and manager for a minute Sam Lutfi apparently contacted Schwarzy’s ex-publicist to arrange a hook-up. Why? So da Gov can help Ms. Made a Mess of Her Life win back custody of her 1- and 2-year-old boys. According to the NYDN’s lone, unnamed, uncorroborated “source”: “Britney says her civil rights have been violated and she wants to talk to Arnold about it. She wants the governor to look into why she can’t get an attorney. Sam was chewing on his dinner while he was saying all this into the phone. He wanted Schwarzenegger to call him, and he said he’d hand Britney the phone.”

Makes a $14.5 billion budget gap seem trivial in comparison, no?

I can act waaaaay crazier than that strung-out cracker! Write me at <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript"> </script> or call (916) 498-1234 x3320.