Because what rocking chairs have always been lacking are dildos, Design Shop presents the Monkey Rocker—a backless stool that sits low to the ground and thrusts a dildo upwards to your special parts as you shift your weight back and forth. Capable of accommodating any Vac-U-Lock or wide-based dildo, it’s surprisingly effortless to create a pleasing rhythm that will rock you till the break of dawn. The simple design and function allows for a hole range of options for boys and girls. If the $800 price tag doesn’t pucker your budget, the Monkey Rocker is a quality, sturdy product that’s sure to leave you limp with exhaustion. The obvious downside is that it’s hardly a discreet toy, but if you’re willing to plop down almost a G for an O, chances are you don’t blush easily.