John Ellis

Here’s some opinion: The daily screeds of John Ellis, first cousin to the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., a man who prematurely called the election for his cousin from his “Decision Desk” at the oh-so-fair and balanced Fox News. Ellis wanks daily from his digital pulpit on politics, golf, business, technology ad infinitum with all the moral authority of some born on third base fraternity blowhard with a snoot full of Glenfiddich opining at the 19th hole. Last week’s jabberwocky included a fatuous account of how he and “a veteran Republican political operative” handicapped the 2008 election (since 2004’s in the bag for Shrub). Their short list? Jeb Bush, Bill Frist, Bill Simon—“assuming victory in California,” Mitt Romney, Chuck Hagel, George Voinovich. And their conclusion? “When you think about it, it really boils down to one guy, whose name is Bush.” Better than hallucinogens!