Friday, June 05, Glitterati

Sofia, 10 p.m., $5

If you dance wrong, you look like a complete tool. I mean, can you imagine if a colony of aliens came to our planet and landed their ship in a dance club? They’d be like, “These dudes are pussies,” and we’d be probed all the way back to Neptune. But that’s why God created booze and drugs: to take away the awkwardness of dancing, and probing. But when you attend the next Glitterati, don’t worry. Just have a good time as you dance (or “danse,” as they say on other planets) to the likes of Kedd Cook, Jake Swift, Brian Starts Riots, Eduardimus Prime and Jamesley Is Skeletron. The proceeds this time go to the SPCA. Aww, puppies. 815 11th Street.