Cold, cold, cold
Sick. I hate it. I went to House of Rice to get some Chinese herbs, as they’re way cheaper than going to a doctor. Some people swear by them. And God bless the people at the “House,” but I ended up with three bottles of herbs all of which contain something called, um, semen. I’m still sick as a dog but parts of me are as hard as Chinese arithmetic. Speaking of which, do we really need to see any more commercials of Bob “Viagra” Dole leering at Britney Spears?
Being sick is like watching life through a filter: You see it coming and going, but interacting with it isn’t as easy. I don’t like shaking hands when I’m sick. People are nothing more than bacteria factories, and when I’m in a weakened state, I say shaking hands is the devil’s work. Now, when women meet, it’s a casual hug or kiss on the cheek or smooch in the air. But guys have an elaborate ritual that involves a head nod, words of introduction and a body movement culminating in a handshake that can be brief or span the good part of a minute.
Who knows why we get sick? In the story The War of the Worlds, it was the common cold that laid the alien invaders to rest. When one is under the weather, below the radar, not radiating a blip on anyone’s screen, it’s easy to see how susceptible we all are to the microscopic world. But being sick allows me to slow down and take an inventory of where I’m at—at the moment, out of Kleenex and resorting to TP. My one hope is that this flu doesn’t turn into something more serious. Word is that there is a case of Assthrax spreading around Chico.