“I see contemporary violence as a kind of sardonic response to the promise of consumer fulfillment in America."—Don DeLillo

“By sardonic, do you mean of a salty taste?"—George Dubya

Get your freak on
I love Halloween. No, I don’t mean the sloppy mess downtown. I’m talking about the time of year: harvest time, that crispness to the air, and the festival of pagans—becoming whatever your imagination dictates. I tend to go through traditional rituals around this time. Here are some:

1. Carving the pumpkin. Brings back that smell of orange pumpkin guts. If you can wander through a pumpkin patch, do that too. Preferably in overalls and an old wooden wagon driven by Mr. T.

2. Two required screenings: Charlie Brown/Simpsons Halloween specials; and my girl Jamie Lee Curtis in the classic ‘70s horror/period piece Halloween. She’s got the BMX wings that make me shiver. Who but the daughter of Janet Leigh (Psycho) could succeed to the horror princess throne?

3. Trip to the costume store. It’s like being a stunt double, all that fake blood. I like the big store on Vallombrosa. This year, I’m going as either Tammy Faye Baker or the Great Satan (I think).

4. Buying candy. I do this under the guise of being prepared for trick-or-treaters, knowing full well I won’t be home. I eat the candy myself in due time.

5. Visit the Oroville salmon hatchery. Great cycle of life, keep on turning, Proud Mary keep on burning.

Here come YOUR 2001 Sacramento Kings!!
Time for my favorite sport and favorite team to hit the hardwood. After having watched our closest pro sports team for the last four years, I can say we have a legitimate, underdog’s chance at the championship this year. We’ve finally got an extension of the coach in our point guard, Mike Bibby, a smart player with a consistent jumper. We got my main man, Doug Christie, defensive stopper and slick passer with athletic moves to the rim. We got fragile superstar Chris Webber who needs to stop whining/getting hurt and develop more post moves. We got Pedjack, the bomber with one of the purest shots in the league. We got the humanitarian flopper, Vlade, at center, with his veteran wiles (up-and-under baby!). We got the under-rated Bobby Jackson, street baller with much heart. We got Hedo, fearless swooper and shooter with a new nose job. And we got young Skywalker, Gerald Wallace, the jedi knight from ‘Bama whose hops will rock you. Should be a great year; come join us at the Graduate for televised games and show your love!

Weekly props
1. Hank III and Hank Jr. at the Crazy Horse (great show)
2. Happy Birthday, October kids
3. Femi Kuti at the Student Union (11/15)
4. Neil Young’s “Imagine” (Bridge School benefit)
5. Coen Brothers’ The Man Who Wasn’t There