Dick Cheney and The Sound of Music
I don’t know why I even watch the news—it’s all B.S. The stuff gets filtered into my funky, de-lovely dreams and I wind up having nightmares. Like this morning, when I had to relive my third-grade class’s adaptation of The Sound of Music. Normally, I’d associate good memories with this musical. When I was a kid, my father took me to the real Von Trapps’ restaurant in Vermont, where I got to meet the elderly “Maria"—who served up a memorable grilled cheese and fresh apple cider. Now this: In my dream, I was back in a scene during the school play, except all the children were sitting around Dick Cheney in the Julie Andrews role. It was horrible. Then he began to sing one of the most popular songs from the film, later immortalized by The Honorable John Coltrane:

“My Favorite Things” (sung with feeling by Dick Cheney)
Oil fields and poppies and kittens in minefields
scared children running from Tomahawk missiles
leaky black gas masks beginning to sting
these are a few of my favorite things!
Cream-colored white men playing golf by the river
arms deals for choppers and nuclear fission
screaming mad brown men with asses in slings
these are a few of my favorite things!
When the bombs miss, when the press cries, when I’m feeling sad
I simply remember that I rule the world,
and then I don’t feeeeel sooo bad!
Pre-emptive strikes on developing nations,
reaping the profits from overseas wages
Nuclear winters that melt into spring

These are a few of my favorite things!

Tell me something good
OK. What did passive monkey whimper to dominant monkey before getting his head bashed in?

Passive monkey: “Hydrogen fuel cells reverse the flow of power from centralized utility companies to end users. Every human being potentially becomes the producer as well as consumer of his or her own energy. When millions of end users connect their fuel cells into hydrogen energy webs (HEWs) using the same design principles as the World Wide Web, they can share energy … creating a new decentralized form of energy use. Every human being could be empowered, creating the first truly democratic energy regime in history!” (Jeremy Rifkin)

Dominant monkey: Monkey need oil! (Bashes skull) Sun is for sleeping.

Weekly props
1. The Sopranos
2. Les Claypool returns to Chico
3. Bridge School Benefit 10/26-27
4. Jon Spencer/Liars/Yeah Yeah Yeahs at the Colonial Theater in Sac
5. New Beck album