WTF! I have to bring a dish for Thanksgiving?

Illustration By mark stivers

My mom says this year I have to actually bring a dish for Thanksgiving, which feels almost like blasphemy: Usually, I just drink zin, fork bird and pass out. Now I have to make something? Anyway, I can in fact cook, but some kind of cognitive distortion takes over my brain on Thanksgiving: I either want to cook everything or cook nothing at all. You feel me? Anyway, this year, no go—so I’m going seasonal. My dish? Cranberries and butternut squash: Cube the squash and add whole cranberries; put in a bowl and dress with olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. Stir and pour into your Le Creuset dish of choice and—this is key—sprinkle herbes de Provence on top before roasting at 400 degrees. More thoughtful than a can of cran, and it’ll get your mom off your back through New Year’s. Hopefully.