What’s a fraggle-stick car?

Lately, I’ve been researching new ways to earn money. For example, a person can be part of Sacramento’s emerging club culture by working as a valet parking attendant. However, the downside of that gig would become apparent after one too many tiny-packaged guys berate you for mishandling their Hummers. Inevitably, you’d be tempted to flip the bird and walk off the job. Still, other opportunities exist (the car wash, the drive-thru window at Jimboy’s). All is not hopeless.

But being more of a cerebral type, I figured I’d offer a couple of ideas, gratis, in the spirit of the holidays (or Christmas, for you Bill O’Reilly fans), figuring that someone might want to keep a reasonably creative guy from parking cars.

A few times when I’ve flown into Austin, Texas, the airport sound system was playing foreground music with a common theme: Every song was by a Texas-associated artist. It was a nifty touch, and it presented the listener with a tangible representation of how much wonderful music has emanated from the Lone Star state.

Since Sacramento is California’s capital, why doesn’t our airport exclusively play California music? There’s so much great stuff to choose from, in so many genres—one could argue that more excellent popular music has originated here than from anywhere else. Just putting the various playlists together would be a mind-blowing experience. And the upshot would be that anyone flying into our fair city would get a swell aural taste of the California experience, along with the idea that Sacramento is the capital of the most creative state in the country.

It’s gotten so that you can’t swing a proverbial dead cat without missing a Starbucks. The chain sells coffee drinks, foodstuffs and various tchotchkes, along with an overstuffed armchair and snickerdoodle ambiance. In recent years, Starbucks began selling CDs and downloads, too. If you’re a local coffee chain, how can you compete?

Here’s how: Offer local music for sale. Many fine local acts have CDs that can be displayed and sold in your stores.

By marketing local music the way that Starbucks markets McCartney CDs, a local chain could accomplish a couple of objectives: First, a certain amount of loyalty would be generated; plenty of people in this town would feel good about buying their steeply priced coffee drinks from a place that supports local music. Second, racking all those locally produced CDs for sale might shock people into comprehending the staggering amount of musical creativity we have right here in River City. (And for those artists whose music is available at iTunes, download cards could be offered for sale, too.)

The chain I’m thinking of already has a store in Midtown, Weatherstone, which occasionally features live music.

Watching the wheels department: John Lennon was murdered 27 years ago this Saturday. Marilyn’s was booked for a private “Bad Santa” party for the anniversary this year, but the night before—Friday, December 7—the K Street club will host a tribute featuring Sherman Baker, Larisa Bryski, Adam Donald and Bob Zoppi. Opening the set at 8 p.m. will be a two-hour performance by Drew Harrison (of Beatles tribute band the Sun Kings) as Lennon. Cover’s $10. Speaking of Bad Santa, wouldn’t it be cool to hear Billy Bob Thornton cover “Mother”? OK, bad idea.