Wax on, drink up

If you thought Mr. Miyagi had moves, you need to check out the Sacramento Invitational Taekwondo Championship. You see, Mr. Miyagi was part of that old-school karate generation where competitors remain calm like Zen-inspired statues until they deliver the deadly kick or “hi ya.” Yes, he kicked serious butt, but taekwondo is new school, and the masters rarely stand still. Like young grasshoppers, they move fast with fluid motion, bouncing back and forth—and then, wham! They bring out the body kicks and punch combos. I wonder how Danielson’s “crane kick” would fare against the taekwondo masters. Any takers?

For those who prefer a good run or a refreshing pint over sweeping the leg, it’s time to get devirginized by the Sacramento Hash House Harriers, “the drinking club with a running problem.” A hash (run) is like being in one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. One runner, or “hare,” marks a 4- to 5-mile trail for other hashers to follow—however, the hare also creates some false trails along the way. But unlike the Choose Your Own Adventure books, deciding on the wrong trail won’t lead to your untimely death. It’ll just take you longer to get to the end where there is beer aplenty. And that’s the great thing about a hash—it always ends happy with lots of socializing and drinking (and not necessarily alcohol for those nondrinkers out there). If you decide to go on the hash, meet at Carlisle Woods Park on Saturday, January 31, at 1 p.m.