The Wolverine

Rated 1.0

In 1945 Nagasaki, a Japanese soldier is ominously warned by Hugh Jackman's Wolverine that “you can't outrun what's coming.” Within seconds, the same Japanese soldier literally outruns a nuclear blast that in real life killed tens of thousands. If that doesn't offend your intelligence enough, there's also some Wolverine crucifixion imagery here, as well as the most inexplicable samurai robot imaginable. It's clear that at one point, The Wolverine had ambitions to be a character-driven superhero film, but all coherence and motivation were apparently bled out in preproduction. The result is a dull origin story (again!) that forces Wolverine to refrain from acting like Wolverine 90 percent of the time. Jackman shuffles along with zombie obligation, as though he can't believe how much money he's been paid to go through these motions.