A Miami dentist (Cuba Gooding Jr.) learns that not only is he adopted, but his biological mother, who recently died in her Alaska log cabin, has bequeathed him her team of sled dogs, and a local sourdough (James Coburn) wants the dogs for himself. Five writers—count ’em, folks, five—and all they could come up with is this sorry mish-mash of dumb cliches, lame comedy and soggy bathos. Might as well name them: Jim Kouf, Tommy Swerdlow, Michael Goldberg, Mark Gibson, Philip Halprin. And director Brian Levant, too—though there’s no sign that he actually did anything on the film. This may be the worst movie to star two Oscar winners since the heyday of the studios when actors had no say in their projects. At least it’s not as bad as last month’s Out Cold. How’s that for faint praise?