To invite a professional salesman into your home
is to invite a critique of the error of your ways.
There is always a better method and a raft of products
suited to the task. He holds the black light to the carpet
and points there and there and there. The dog has left
its signature piss and vomit. To hear him tell it,
there is a monster feasting on the deepest roots of
the pile. It will grow bolder every year until
its stench will force me to quit the room altogether.
Oh, horror, all will be revealed at my next disco party
—mirror ball and strobe light pointing out
the discolored splotches. He warns me if I knew
how much dirt and disease an animal brings in,
I’d never let them through the front door.
And if he knew how many bullshit ads and
come-ons I’ve heard, I’d do the same for him.