Poster children

Working for the man: It’s time to go calendar shopping. Unfortunately, most of what’s left on the shelves by now are only the cheesiest products—the swimsuit models, the Thomas Kinkade and the cats who paint.

Luckily, Bites doesn’t actually have to plunk down hard-earned cash on dubious date books, because lots of this crap comes in the mail.

Take the Downtown Sacramento Partnership’s recent promotional calendar. The DSP represents downtown’s landlords and major business interests. And the calendar is the touristy, boosterish sort of thing you’d expect: December is riverboats in Old Sac, January the Tower Bridge, and March a streaking RT train.

But Bites was surprised to see garage punks Th’ Losin Streaks featured in the month of May, jumping around and generally spazzing out at a concert in Cesar Chavez Plaza.

“That’s hilarious,” said Tim “Old Man” Foster, lead vocalist for the group. “I guess we must have signed something somewhere,” he added, explaining that he had no idea their image would be used in the PR effort.

But Bites wondered how Foster felt about his band being the poster children for the downtown power elite. “Awesome!” he replied, adding that he thinks the DSP now ought to make Th’ Losin Streaks downtown’s official spokesband. He already has a plan for revitalizing the central city.

“Next thing you know, the partnership will be crusading for more green space and for saving artists’ spaces downtown. They’re into that, right?” Foster also plans to use the band’s new bully pulpit to repeal the decade-old city flier ordinance that allows you to tack political-campaign signs on Sacramento telephone poles but prohibits bands from posting fliers. “Free the telephone poles!” he exclaimed.

Not a pretty picture: Wow, a whole passel of you responded to Bites’ query last week about how Arnold Schwarzenegger should be portrayed in the obligatory gubernatorial portrait upon leaving office.

One reader suggested that the guv be pictured “standing in a San Jose pothole with a shovel.” Another hopes the portrait will be painted “by Wayne Thiebaud, our own Sacramento famous living artist,” which Bites thinks is very thoughtful but ironic, since Arnold likes to talk about how “Sacramento is the problem.”

Bites’ favorite thus far is from local angler Bill Reany, who envisions the governor in bib waders, with a cap that reads “Balco” and his trademark cigar, “standing knee deep in a stream filled with greenbacks rather than water … holding a fisherman’s landing net which is roughly half full with cash.” Send more: <%MungeAddy "”, ""%>.

Where has the fire gone? Bites came very close last week to quitting the news business and going to work for Edie Bukewihge, who has jumped into the 2006 governor’s race as a Democrat.

Bukewihge has no name recognition and, as far as Bites can tell, no campaign war chest. But she has a gift for political language and a clear vision for how to win the governor’s mansion next year—as evidenced by some passionate messages posted on her campaign Web site last week ( “I will spank the current Governor. … We can, I can whoop him.” See, that’s what Bites is talking about, none of the overly cautious, policy-wonk stuff you’re going to hear from Phil Angelides.

Unfortunately, it appears that Bukewihge has begun playing to the center and has toned down her campaign rhetoric in the last few days. Gone from the site are references to spanking and whooping (unless you come across a cached version). The platform now features much more middle-of-the-road sentiments, like “being a Republican is not the way to go” and “I will make good on all my promises, or I will recall myself.” Oh, Edie, your candle burned brightly but far too briefly.