It’s a gas, gas, gas

She blinded Bites with science: Forget Al Gore, if you want some real information about this so-called global warming, just turn on Channel 40 on the morning of Sunday, May 21. There, you might catch some special new ads that should take a load off your troubled mind.

A think tank called the Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI) has selected Sacramento as one of a handful of target markets for its educational campaign to combat “global warming alarmism.”

Two slick new ads will be running on consecutive Sunday mornings. The tag line for the first is, “Carbon dioxide: They call it pollution, we call it life.” That’s right, with one deft turn of phrase CEI has unraveled the so-called overwhelming evidence and so-called near-unanimous consensus of the so-called scientific community with the bombshell that—now, get this—plants, actually breathe carbon dioxide. “We breathe it out, plants breathe it in,” explained CEI spokesperson Jody Clarke. Brilliant!

The second ad will point out that while glaciers over much of the world are melting, in some places they are actually thickening.

“The science just isn’t settled yet,” Clarke explained, adding that Sacramento was one of the few markets where the ads would air, and was chosen because there are so many policy makers and opinion leaders hanging around watching TV on Sunday mornings. The spots will air on May 21 and May 28, during—well what else, Fox News Sunday.

Like any nonprofit, CEI gets its operating funds from generous donors. And Exxon Mobile has been one of CEI’s biggest backers. Bites asked Clarke whether Exxon or any other oil or energy companies helped put together the global-warming ads. “Heavens no,” Clarke said. “We did this completely on our own.”

Divide and conquer: In a major blow to Californians who can’t mind their own business, the secretary of state earlier this week announced that six constitutional amendments aimed at taking away domestic-partnership rights for gay and lesbian couples had failed to qualify for this November’s ballot.

Anti-gay-rights groups seemed to have made a tactical blunder when they divided into two separate but equally superior camps and issued a mind-boggling 14 nearly identical initiatives to roll back gay rights.

While the two factions were united in their distaste for people who are different than them, they couldn’t agree on how to best push the others down. “They had this little war over whose bigotry language was better,” said Laurie McBride with the Stonewall Democratic Club—one of many groups that helped raise money and outflank the hard-right activists. Four similar measures failed to qualify earlier this year. According to the secretary of state, four more were pending signature counts as of this writing. Unless one of them squeaks by, gay partners will still enjoy such “special rights” as visiting each other in the hospital, sharing insurance policies and ruining each others’ credit.

Pruitt: Who Knew It? Somewhere in these pages you can read about the McClatchy Company’s $6.5 billion purchase of Knight Ridder, but Bites was far more interested in millionaire CEO Gary Pruitt’s musical tastes. The newspaper industry’s golden rock ’n’ roll surfer boy is fond of quoting musicians, from Jimi Hendrix to Lenny Kravitz, in board meetings and trade conferences, and in past interviews has called the Rolling Stones and the Ramones his favorite bands.

It’s lost on Bites what corporate types might draw from Ramones’ hits such as “Beat on the Brat” and “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue,” but everyone loves the Stones, Bites included. What might Pruitt’s favorite album be? Their Satanic Majesties Request? What about his favorite Stone’s song? “Sympathy for the Devil”? Turns out Bites is off on both accounts, according to an SN&R interview with the master of McClatchy.

After careful consideration, Pruitt narrowed his favorite Stones record down to three albums: Rolling Stones Now!, Beggars Banquet and Exile on Main St. Touché! He’s quicker to name his favorite Stones’ song: “Brown Sugar”. No wonder the Glimmer Twins let him hang out backstage! One other fun Pruitt fact: He uses a Macintosh at home and a PC at work. Just like Bites!