Glitterati or party pics?

Do you flip pages of Us Weekly in your spare time looking for Scarlett Johansson’s couture fashions, or do you scan online party-pic sites like The CobraSnake for grabs of you and your alt bros and gals?

Are you a solipsist or a starfucker?

Either way, why not dabble in a little bit o’ glitterati and grab-stalking this week? First, gawk at Hollywood celebs during the annual celeb-fest that is Sacramento’s California Hall of Fame induction ceremony, this Monday at The California Museum. There’ll be a red-carpet entry with famous people like Jack Nicholson and … Jack LaLanne. If you want to secure a prime spot to clamor, however, get there early and drink lots of chamomile tea from nearby Temple Fine Coffee and Tea (1014 10th Street).

Or, party like it’s Christmas Day (yes, it’s a holiday-themed soirée) this Saturday at Touched by a Stranger, a dance party with deejays Shaun Slaughter, Crook One and Jon Droll. Then, the next afternoon, log on to local party-pic mogul Nick Avey’s Takeover Tokyo site and shudder in disbelief at all the a) strangers you went home with, b) bestest friends you made out with, c) backwash you Bogarted from half-drunk cocktails, d) Choose. Your. Own. Response.

In the end, it’s probably healthier to fall on the side of Avey’s brand of masturbatory paparazzi: the photos of your own cabal—the proverbial DY, or “do-yourself,” scene—is ultimately more sustainable than sweating the Lauren Conrad, “do-in-yourself” celebrity rat race. Plus, party-pic sites are cheaper than a subscription to Us Weekly … or Sactown, for that matter.