Food Stuff

Illustration By Conrad Garcia

The era of vegan decadence has arrived! Freeport Bakery now makes custom vegan chocolate cakes. Give the bakery 24 hours notice, and it will give you a rich chocolate cake covered in the darkest of dark-chocolate frostings. Unlike typical vegan health food, this cake is so sweet, you may find yourself unable to attempt a second slice. The cake can be ordered in various sizes, including a full sheet that serves 100 of your closest animal-rights-activist friends (although we suspect your omnivorous relatives would never notice the absence of animal products, should you decide to bring one to the next family reunion). It’s a true triumph for equality in vegan desserts! At this rate, it won’t be long before vegans have to start watching their weight, along with the rest of America. 2966 Freeport Boulevard, (916) 442-4256,