Five songs that won't survive Sactopia
5. “You Shook Me All Night Long,” by AC/DC. I know, AC/DC is one of the all-time great rock bands or whatever, but if getting rid of this song means you don't have to watch anyone mime the line “Knocking me out with those American thighs” ever again, it's worth it.
4. “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” by Def Leppard. The song triggers stripperlike/strip-club-patronlike behavior in even the most self-possessed (albeit, drunken) citizens. Let's save everyone the potential shame.
3. “All Summer Long,” by Kid Rock. Perhaps it's not fair to pick on Kid Rock. He's had a rough time with the ol' English language: “Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy,” for example. And in “All Summer Long,” he rhymes “things” with “things.” But still.
2. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper. Nothing against Cyndi. If she's up for rerecording it as “Girls Just Want to Be Paid Equally For Doing the Same Jobs as Men,” we'd totally reconsider.
1. “Santeria” or “What I Got,” by Sublime. After an officewide poll, it was a dead split between which was worse. On the one hand, get rid of “Santeria,” and you'll never have to hear a novice guitar player fumble through that solo ever again. On the other, “What I Got,” without fail, incites a barwide sing-and-clap-along, and with drinks raised, a feeling of bonhomie becomes viral. And it's gross.