Couch rock

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at

I’m curious: Would you classify weed as an aphrodisiac? I think I know the answer, but conversely, do you feel it contributes to sexual dysfunction?

—Natty Nice

This is the first I have ever heard of weed being the cause of sexual dysfunction. Most folks say that cannabis makes sex a little more or even a lot more fun. Hell, you can find cannabis-infused lubes in your local dispensary (Velvet Swing is my favorite one, BTW). Studies show that folks who smoke weed every day have more sex than folks who don’t smoke weed at all, so I would say that while whiskey dick is real, weed dick is not. However, some studies show that dudes who smoke a lot of weed may experience difficulties in reaching orgasm; while they have no problems getting it up, they can have problems getting it off. But I’m guessing that for some of y’all, being able to last a little longer is most likely a bonus. If you are dating a stoner that can’t or won’t give it to you on the regular, it may be time to have a talk. After all, why would you want couch lock when you could make the couch rock?

I got a question: Does eating vaped weed get you high because it’s already been decarbed?


What? Are you just eating your leftover weed? Even if the cops aren’t knocking on the door? Weirdo. I mean, weed that has been vaped does still have some THC left, but probably not enough to get you high if you ate it. You would have to eat a lot of it. Like a whole lot of it. Like so much you would probably get sick before you got high. You would be better served by making a cannabis-infused butter oil rather than just chomping a handful of buds. Good luck.

Have you ever heard of people making cannabutter from stems, or should I just do the whole flower? I’ve never done it, and I’ve heard some friends say they do one or the other. What should I do?


Why in the world would you make butter with sticks and stems if you have weed in your vicinity? Sticks and stems do contain THC, but in very, very small amounts. You would need all the stems from a whole tree just to create a decent butter. Plus, you have to break the stems down into very small pieces, and it’s a giant pain in the grass. If you really want to find something to do with your leftover sticks and whatnot, you can use them in an alcohol based tincture (soak them in a vat full of grain alcohol like Everclear for a few weeks) or use them in your stovetop smoker to make a nice weed-smoked duck breast. The smoke won’t really add any THC to the duck, but you will get a nice hint of Trainwreck of whatever strain you use. Have fun. Eat well.Ω