Macias is The Sacramento Bee’s pop-music critic.
What do you think about SN&R always ripping into the Bee?
You mean the player hating?
Yeah, the player hating.
The funny part about that is all the times I’ve been hit up by SN&R staffers over the years about jobs opening up at the Bee, you know?
So are you guys hiring?
Go call human resources.
What are you going to do when the Bee goes under?
When the Bee goes under? See, I knew you were going to ask this question … . Whenever I watched The Jetsons, Pops Jetson would be reading a newspaper, so I knew the newspaper industry would be alive and well … . You wise ass. When the SN&R goes under, what are you going to do?
I don’t know, dude. Go back to stealing and shit. I don’t know. I have no backup plan. Maybe I’ll go work at the Bee. Are you a full Mexican?
I’m only half.
Yeah, but it’s my good half. Actually, both my parents are Mexican, but my mom’s half.
So you’re three-quarters a burrito, and your other quarter’s like … a wrap.
Yeah! So, hey, how’s the Mexican thing working for you?
I’m just going to have to quote Digital Underground: “Black and white, red, yellow, brown—it doesn’t really matter, we can all get down.” … How’s the Mexican thing working out for you?
It’s good. I can slip into situations as a non-Mexican and blend in.
What would be a situation you could slip into?
Like the SN&R. Hey, who would win in a journalism battle: me or you?
What do you mean? Like battling with typewriters, with words?
I mean, honestly, I’m a lover, not a fighter.
See? You’re so loveable.
How would the battle be set up?
I don’t know. I think just the fact that you asked that question, you’d probably win.
How about competitive haiku? We can go out, see bands and write haikus about it. Five-seven-five, beeyotch!
Are you on hush from talking about that perverted business reporter?
Honestly, I don’t know …
Yeah, I know. I mean, he had a video camera …
Ha! I know your crafty ways, man.
What questions do you think I’m going to use for this?
The Mexican … SN&R vs. the Bee … I don’t know; it’s your story, man. What, do you want me to write it for you, too?
Yeah, could you?