Well red

’Twas the week before Christmas, as I drove about. The streets were all busy with shoppers en route. My clutch had been slipping, it might need a fix, but I just geared down some, cuz I know its tricks. I was passing a bus when I noticed a man, dressed wholly in red and extending his hand. I pulled over real quick, and fired up my Android; a missed interview I thought I’d avoid. He wasn’t too happy but pleasant enough. If it weren’t for the kids, he might have been gruff. He said he’s been busy, his job’s almost done. “The elves are not slacking, it’s time for some fun.”

We finished our chatting, and I drove away 15 Minutes to all, and to all a good day.

How did you come to be standing out on Virginia Street instead of at the North Pole making toys with Christmas only nine days away?

I got ahead of myself, and I decided I’d spread the holiday spirit and say hi to all the kids out here before I start dropping toys off to them.

So are you getting a lot of comments from kids? Do they wave at you? Do you hear from them as you stand here at Ferguson Farms Grows Trees for Less?

Sure, I talk to the kids. They come talk to me. I give them candy canes, say hi, see what they want, see if I’m giving them what they want. That kind of stuff.

Are you associated with this tree farm or is this a part-time situation?

It’s just a part-time gig. Just to get out here and see the kids.

Do you do this every year with this particular tree farm?

I pick a different one every year and do something different.

What should people be expecting different for this year’s Christmas? Do you have any ideas?

Whatever they want, I try to give them.

Are kids mostly naughty or nice this year?

There’s been a lot of good kids. There’ve been a few bad ones, but most of them are good.

How about their moms? What are you going to give the bad kids this year?

Lump of coal, like always.

Are they asking for any particular toys this year?

Nothing out of the ordinary. I haven’t heard nothing new.

I heard Furby was the hot one again this year. Maybe Elmo. Probably not. Are the elves making a bunch of Furbys this year?

They’ve made some of them, but they haven’t made much. Maybe I’d better tell them to make some more of those.

So do you have another name, an alter ego, you’d like me to call you in the paper?

No, Santa Claus is fine.

All right, Santa. Good luck selling trees this year.

Thank you.