Ready for the Death Party
Last week, I feigned punditry and opined that our senior senator, Mr. Heller, would indeed vote for the Republican Death Act (RDA), that his vote was a slam dunk, no-brainer, go ahead and bank it. Less than 24 hours after I made my call, Dean made his, declaring in Vegas that he could not support the current bill.
Well, hush my hash browns, Hiltrude! The dude could not wait to pull my pants down to my ankles!
I was genuinely surprised. In fact, a better word is “gobsmacked.” I mean, this is the guy who voted for Betsy DeVos, Scott Pruitt, for every villainous d-bag in Twitler’s Cabinet of Cretins. I can’t honestly ever remember a vote of any consequence where Heller didn’t roll with The Party Line. And then, we’re presented with the unexpected and refreshingly welcome possibility that he will actually buck the GOP and vote like a sane, caring, reasonable human being for once. Like I said—gobsmacked!
Please note the use of the word “possibility.” Because we all know that Deano has spent this last week in a terribly torrid Washington kitchen. One can just imagine the tone of President Dum Dum as he made his first call, all nice and charming and cheery for, oh, about 20 seconds or so, before getting down to business. “So Dean, why the fuck are you fuckin’ this all up, fercrissake, what the hell is goin’ on here?”
We’ll see what happens (by the time this issue comes out, we should know the fate of the RDA). But I will say I would be absolutely delighted to be totally wrong with my original prediction, my Heller-cred in shreds on the slaughterhouse floor, if it means that (1) Heller hangs tough with his “nay” on this truly dreadful, disgusting, hateful bill, and (2) if Heller’s “nay” turns out to be instrumental in dooming this Mitchy Meanness.
Now, if this nastiness should actually pass the Senate and land on Dum Dum’s desk, the proper Democratic response has already been laid out by none other than Hillary. Last week, she tweeted, “Forget death panels. If the Republicans pass this bill, they’re the Death Party.” Bingo. There you go. Death Party. That is some snappy, zippy, catchy shit, right there. And a snarky little soundbyte tailor-made to inject into the howling airwaves and raging mailboxes of Amerika via a blast of TV spots and postcards with one relentless, merciless message. “The Republicans are now The Death Party.” Let ’em suck on that one for a while.