Mom, I wanted a flamethrower!!!
Last week in this space we brought you the most sought-after toys and gifts for this holiday season. This week, let’s take a look at the least sought-after toys. According to World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H.), a nonprofit foundation whose members scour toy shelves looking for dangerous products, the following toys could choke, maim, strangle or otherwise injure your precious little ones. And that would ruin Christmas.
See www.toysafety.org for more killer toys.
Splatmatic Pistol Splat Paintball Shooter: Recommended for kids 3 and up, this toy paintball gun “fires ‘.50 caliber’ paint balls at a high velocity.” While the package warns users to wear goggles, the included ammo jar warns tots to cover their eyes, ears, throat and head. How many 3-year-olds read safety warnings?
Animal Alley Ponies: They may look cute, but these colorful alley ponies have “long, fiberlike hair which is not adequately rooted and is easily removable, presenting an ingestion or aspiration hazard.”
Star Wars Revenge of the Sith Energy Beam Blaster (pictured): What could go wrong with this one? Well, leave the the blaster and its two pressurized “energy beam string canisters” in the car on a hot day and kaboom! They can “burst violently.” That’s beside the danger of a 5-year-old spraying his little sister in the eyes with a potentially blinding “energy beam” blast.
Air Kicks Kickaroos Anti-Gravity Boots: These weird-looking boots, fitted with bow-type springs on the soles, fit over a kid’s shoes and allow them them to, according to the package, “Bounce across the yard like a gazelle.” So in addition to looking like a dork and being in danger of splitting his head open, little Timmy also has to worry about attracting hungry predators.
The Lord of the Rings Return of the King Uruk-Hai crossbow set: Again, what could go wrong? This thing shoots arrows over 30 feet. The bolts are soft-tipped, but we’d wager they’d still hurt pretty bad at close range. Then again, if you are already planning to buy your 5-year-old a crossbow this year, you’re probably not going to listen to any crybaby toy safety group.
Fantastic 4 Electronic Thing Hands: Just what your 6-year-old needs—two giant fists with which to pummel every person and pet in your household into submission. While the package tells kids it’s “clobberin’ time!”, parents are warned that “serious injury could result” if junior actually hits anybody.