Presidential disease

Ever get upset because those in power seem to have it so much better than the rest of us tired, poor and diseased masses? Well, don’t let the stress get to you (that stuff kills—just ask Woodrow Wilson!), because throughout U.S. history our fearless leaders have proven just as susceptible to failings of the earthly vessel as their constituents. Just how sick did these fearless leaders get? The folks at www.healthinplainenglish.com have referenced sources as reliable as www.wikipedia.com to find out. Here’s a choice selection of some of the sickest, illest, and, one might assume, most doped-up leaders of the free world.

George Washington: malaria, smallpox, tuberculosis, dysentery, boils (carbuncles), tooth loss, hearing loss, presbyopia, infertility, quinsy, pneumonia, strep infection

John Adams: Hair loss, depression, boils, heartburn, falling into a coma, rheumatism

Andrew Jackson (pictured): sword wound, smallpox, depression, gunshot wound, malaria, dysentery, frequent headaches, tuberculosis, edema (dropsy), heart failure

Abraham Lincoln: color blindness, crossed eyes, presbyopia, concussion, fractured jaw, malaria, depression, dental phobia, toothache, smallpox, hair loss, fatal gunshot wound

Franklin D. Roosevelt: polio, hypertension, hemorrhoids, anemia, anorexia, weight loss, indigestion, sebaceous cyst, atherosclerosis, cardiomyopathy, angina, cholecystitis, cerebral hemorrhage

John F. Kennedy: scarlet fever, measles, knee injury, bronchitis, jaundice, rubella, whooping cough, colitis, osteoporosis, presbyopia, back aches, Addison disease, fatal gunshot wound

Richard Nixon: Phlebitis, “furious eye blinking”, stroke

Jimmy Carter: severe chronic hemorrhoids

Bill Clinton: gasteroesophageal reflux, rectal bleeding, allergy, torn knee tendon, sebaceous cyst, basal cell carcinoma, acne rosacea, angina, atherosclerosis, coronary artery disease

George W. Bush: Hemorrhoids, benign colon polyps, actinic keratosis, loss of consciousness, knee injury