I saw you give me a
dirty look as I came out of the bathroom. Then you had the nerve to tell the whole town how I stunk it up! Excuse me for having irritable-bowel syndrome. Not everyone has floral-scented poo like you. Besides, there was someone in the other bathroom, and you should see (or rather smell, as you put it) the kind of thing that goes on in there—we go through a can of Lysol a week!
Send us your rants, kudos, love letters or bizarre sightings, but keep it to 100 words. You’ll remain anonymous, but you must identify yourself for us to process your submission. Mail: Iwitness c/o CN&R, 353 E. 2nd St., Chico, CA 95928; email: firstname.lastname@example.org.