The Legend of Zorro
The caped Robin Hood of 1850 California (Antonio Banderas) has domestic troubles. His wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) complains that his Zorro job is cutting into quality family time, so she gets a quickie no-fault divorce and takes up with a French winemaker (Rufus Sewell), who’s plotting with Confederate agents to destroy the United States. Of all the cockamamie, historically illiterate rot to come out of Hollywood, this really takes the cake; it’s Zorro and the Temple of Doom. Director Martin Campbell tries for breezy insouciance, but it’s all for naught—the derring-do is as phony as the historical background, the dialogue and Zeta-Jones’ accent. The four writers will remain nameless; U.S. libel laws protect them from being insulted as grievously as their script insults the viewer.