The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Rated 2.0

This big-budget adaptation of the C.S. Lewis Sunday-school lesson is bloated, bland, boring stuff. During World War II, four London children are sent to an estate to escape the bombings, and the youngest (Georgie Henley) discovers a mystical world in back of their host’s closet. Her siblings eventually join her in the land of Narnia, where an array of creatures prance about in a truly non-enchanting sort of way. Aslan the lion reigns as supreme as he can with the seemingly disinterested voice of Liam Neeson. While Henley is quite good in her role, none of the others can match her charisma. Tilda Swinton is especially mundane as the White Witch, a baddie who shouts and scowls a lot. The visuals aren’t all that impressive, the soundtrack is pretty awful, and overall the film is violent and just a little creepy, without many redeeming qualities. What the hell is Turkish delight anyway?