Speed Racer

Rated 2.0

Wachowski brothers Andy and Larry (The Matrix) translate the cheesy, low-rent 1960s kids’ cartoon series into a luxuriously gaudy movie by combining live actors (Emile Hirsch as Speed, John Goodman and Susan Sarandon as his parents, Christina Ricci as girlfriend Trixie, etc.) with riotously colorful, screaming-neon computer animation. The actors are earnestly straight-faced, the story is incomprehensibly plot-heavy and the frenetic races leave dazzled eyes numb from the onslaught. At two-plus hours, it’s way too much of a not-good-enough thing and another rung in the downward spiral of popular culture: Where past generations of moviemakers relived their childhoods by filming Lewis Carroll or R. L. Stevenson, these days, they rework the likes Transformers and Speed Racer. Can Clutch Cargo be far behind?