’Man candy’ is creepy

He wiggles his eyebrows upward, looks straight ahead with a possessed stare and breathlessly calls pig flesh “man candy.” It’s even more disturbing when it’s done 2 feet from one’s face, though. Trust me. He might fit into the bacon-fetish crowd who would disdain any type of fake bacon, like Sweet Earth Natural Foods’ Benevolent Bacon. Too bad, because the hickory-and-smoked-flavored seitan sizzled and smelled like the real dead deal, and the taste was close, but it lacked that biting-into-an-animal’s-pure-fat quality. But consider the tradeoff: No highly intelligent animal had to have a lifetime of sad factory farmness for your one meal, and the California-made product really does taste good, and kindness tastes even better. Find it at the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op (1900 Alhambra Boulevard).