Christmas with the Kranks

Rated 1.0 A suburban couple (Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide not to celebrate Christmas this year, spending the money instead on a Caribbean cruise for themselves. Writer Chris Columbus and director Joe Roth (adapting John Grisham’s novel) plumb the mean-spirited, ugly-hearted depths of the I-hate-Christmas movie, in which 90 minutes of whining and griping about the holiday season are followed by a hasty, insincere wrap-up about the true meaning of Christmas. This leaden movie is hateful and repellent on every level. The supposed hero is a cheap, selfish bastard (not even regular-guy Tim Allen can make him likeable); his wife is a grimacing sourpuss; and the supporting actors all seem to have been chosen for their pinched, nasty faces or for how phony they can sound when saying “Merry Christmas.”