Blunts and boomsticks

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at

Let me get this straight: If I am a medical cannabis user, I can’t legally own a gun? What part of the game is this?

—Lil Uzi Verde

The federal part. Sorry, dude. Cannabis is still a Schedule I drug, therefore, any medical cannabis user is an “illegal drug user,” according to the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. It is against the law to knowingly sell a gun to someone that uses federally illegal drugs. This is a drag for cannabis-using gun enthusiasts, but no problem for drunks. Booze isn’t illegal. Plus, we all know that drunk people are extremely responsible gun owners.

This is one of those things that can be fixed by removing cannabis from the list of controlled substances. Cannabis users shouldn’t have to give up their constitutional right to bear arms just because they like a little weed. A few years ago, the Oregon Supreme Court ruled that medical cannabis users had the right to purchase guns and to obtain concealed carry permits, but a new ruling from the Ninth Circuit supersedes the Oregon court’s decision.

The thing is, the federal background database does not include any information on whether or not someone is a medical cannabis user, but the form the feds have you fill out before you buy a gun will ask if you are a user of illegal drugs. I mean, you could lie, but lying to the feds is a serious offense. The legal repercussions from such a purchase could be significant. If the feds come after you and you have guns at your grow site, they would be able to add a “gun enhancement” charge, which could add years to your sentence if you are found guilty.

The federal government is going to have to come to grips with the fact that cannabis legalization is pretty much unstoppable right now. Federal law is going to have to adjust to this new reality and stop discriminating against law-abiding cannabis users.

How do you handle it when someone packs a bowl of schwag when you’re used to chronic? Also, I don’t smoke tobacco, so should I say no to the blunt when it gets passed to me?

—Ed. T. Kett

Eh, smoke the weed and says thanks. We are very spoiled in California. We forget that most states don’t have cannabis dispensaries and delivery services. If someone offers you some schwag, it probably won’t kill you to take a puff or two. Perhaps you can offer them some of your fantastically delicious cannabis. If you didn’t bring any weed, you can’t talk any shit. If you did bring some weed, maybe you can offer to match a bowl and smoke the better-flavored pot as a nice dessert. And as to blunts: Don’t give in to peer pressure. If you say something like “No, thank you. I don’t smoke tobacco,” while you pass the blunt to someone else, no one will care, as long as you pass the blunt. Just because you don’t smoke it doesn’t mean you can’t touch it. Don’t eff up the rotation.