A guide to vice and laziness

Boozing, strippers, gambling and too much TV. How to ditch those resolutions and have the best year ever

So, it’s two weeks into the New Year and, let’s face it, 2015’s already a fail. At least as far as all those New Year’s resolutions go.

Lose weight? Exercise more? Drink less? Save money?


Seriously, why should this year be any different? According to a study from the University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical Psychology, 45 percent of Americans make resolutions each January (“Lose weight,” “Learn something exciting” and “Spend less, save more” were among last year’s top promises). Thing is, only 8 percent actually achieve their goals.

Why even bother?

Listen, we’re not saying you should scratch big picture goals; maybe you should lose that last 5 pounds (if we’re being honest here) but to that end, rock-hard abs are over-rated, it’s been shown that alcohol has health benefits and, when it comes to money, you can’t take it with you.

In other words the occasional trip to the strip club or a weekend spent boozing and binge-watching Peaky Blinders is probably not going to kill you. Probably.

Follow the links to the right for SN&R’s super-realistic, anti-resolution guide to all things vice and laziness.

Or, as we like to think of it: Life.