Star warriors

Watching the NBA finals with the Cavs and Dubs, I'm reminded of one horrific thing about modern sporting events—the constant blaring of burned out classic rock staples played during breaks in the action at skull-rattling volume. Every time I hear those sonic assaults, I'm reminded that I'm completely down with being a boring old fart, sitting at home in my sweats, popping open another bottle of pinot grigio, and fast forwarding through all the commercial breaks while saving about 325 bucks by not going to the damned game.

And seriously, if you still don't have DVR power on your idiot box, how exactly do you survive? Not watching TV is a good answer here. There are few technologies of the modern world I consider indispensable. DVR is one of 'em.

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While the Warriors have been truly entertaining and at times transcendent to watch this year, there's one thing that sticks in my craw about the team, and that's their very name. What kind of dog poop name is Golden Effing State? Godammit, these guys have been playing in Oakland since 1971, and it's really kind of pitiful the team isn't simply the Oakland Warriors. Good ole funky Oakland needs every positive stroke it can get, and it would have been a buzz for the city to reap the good juju of the Dubs this year, especially after being exemplary fans and paying their dues by being solidly supportive during Da Dubs' decades of mediocrity.

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You know who's had as good a year as the Warriors? Amy Schumer. The third season of her show on Comedy Central, Inside Amy Schumer, has seen her not just get really good, but occasionally brilliant. If her upcoming flick Trainwreck is half as good as her show has been these past few months, it's gonna be a smash, and Amy gonna be a big-ticket superstar.

What she/Comedy Central should do at the conclusion of this third season is put together a one-hour “Best of Amy” for YouTube/Netflix. It will positively destroy. You'd begin with her season-opening hilarious video spoofing the eternal male obsession with the female derriere, called “That's Where The Poop Comes Out.” Then, there's the truly terrific 20 minute skit called “12 Angry Men Inside Amy Schumer,” where a jury including Jeff Goldblum, Paul Giamatti, Vincent Kartheiser (Pete on Mad Men) and nine others must hash out the charge—is Amy hot enough to host her own TV show on basic cable? It's just flat out comedy gold. And how outrageous is it that Amy, a 34-year-old millennial, chooses a hoary old flick from 1957 starring Henry Fonda and Lee J. Cobb, fercrissake, to base the entire show/skit/gag upon? I'm guessing 90 percent of her primary 18-34 demo had not clue one that 12 Angry Men was a 57-year-old classic movie. And she goes ahead, runs with it, and knocks it out of the freakin' park. Bravo.