Local man objects to every aspect of Burning Man except the naked chicks
Sparks, NV—Speaking to reporters from his living room, local man Kyle Girossi confirmed yesterday that he disagrees with pretty much every aspect of Burning Man except the naked chicks.
“What a waste of time,” Girossi said, referencing the internationally renowned counter-culture festival that brings almost 100,000 people to an improvised city on the Black Rock Playa every summer. “Except openly staring at naked babes, I can’t understand why anyone would want to parade around the desert with a bunch of freaks and old hippies.”
The festival, which began in the early 1990s, requires its participants to live by a set of principles that encourage self-reliance, de-commodification and a rejection of most entrenched social norms. Nudity is often seen as a method of self-expression in the grounds of Black Rock City, and is generally accepted.
“Bullshit,” continued Girossi, watching news coverage of festival participants or “Burners” preparing their camping equipment and vehicles by patronizing many of Reno’s businesses. “Every socialist society in history has failed, and if these idiots think they can set up some kind of Marxist utopia where women can avoid objectification from people like me, they’re dreaming.”
Scrolling through a Reno Gazette Journal online gallery of Burners reveling in the playa dust wearing eccentric clothing amongst monolithic sculptures and other world-class art installations, Girossi added that the people who go to this thing are so hypocritical, and if they really believed in their principles then the girls should get naked all the time, not just for one week in August.
“What a joke,” he said. “They swarm up here from the Bay every year, clogging up all the roads and flooding the city with drugs, then as soon as it’s over, boom, they go back to their cushy tech jobs, not a naked chick in sight.”
Girossi concluded by saying, however, that while he didn’t personally understand why anyone would go to Burning Man, “to each their own.”
“Honestly I don’t get it, but if a bunch of hot, young college girls want to spend money so they can strip down and maybe take some sexy selfies, who am I to judge?”