Hang on to your hats
Beginning in the fall semester, all students in Washoe County schools will be required to wear top hats to school. The new dress code is intended to draw public attention away from other controversies that have plagued the school district.
“Maybe people will let up on us if we distract them to other issues,” said school board member Kelley Minetto Taylor. “Besides, it will get us lots of national publicity.”
The Onion is reportedly already preparing an article on the district.
A school district police spokesperson said the idea originated with them. “There will be less difficulty with student gang garb if everyone is wearing the same hat,” he said.
The natty headgear will be called Digital Chapeaus.