Where’s The Remote

Creepoman: Harry Dean Stanton of <span style="">Big Love</span>

Creepoman: Harry Dean Stanton of Big Love

LOOK SAD AND SAY “D’OH” OK, I never thought it would come to this, but I have to ask: Do you have Simpsons fatigue? I, for one, have been saying “D’oh!” for nearly 17 years now, but honestly, sitting through yet another Simpsons episode seems more difficult than pulling a splinter out of one’s ass with a pair of nunchucks. And guess what? Fox just signed them on for two more seasons, taking the series to 19 seasons! Save me, Jebus!

CHEF-T! (CAN YOU DIG IT?) South Park‘s new season’s now infamous Chef/Issac Hayes-skewering episode made me laugh, barf, and laugh again. Then Tom Cruise stopped by and I told him to suck my chocolate salty balls. Now SP creators have launched a response to Comedy Central for yanking the replay of their “In the Closet” episode (the episode skewering Scientology that made Hayes draw the line). In last week’s two-part “Cartoon Wars,” they ask if Fox will support free speech by showing a Family Guy episode depicting Mohammed or wuss out under pressure from religious groups (wait, didn’t Comedy Central also yank “Bloody Mary” after Catholic protests? I sense a trend here … ).

GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I’D BE WITHOUT YOU For the rest of my life, the Beach Boys song shall be tainted as the theme song for HBO’s Big Love.

This new series about a polygamous family in Salt Lake City includes Barb, bossy queen-bee wife No. 1 (Jeanne Tripplehorn); Nicki, humorless shopaholic wife No. 2 (Chloë Sevigny); Margene, naive but hot wife No. 3 (Ginnifer Goodwin); and give-that-guy-some-Viagra husband Bill (Bill Paxton). Bill has been called the ultimate multi-tasker, balancing three wives, multiple kids, cult-following parents, the Prophet (creepy Harry Dean Stanton), his new business and his nearly empty checkbook.

Following The Sopranos, Big Love doesn’t have to focus on morals, though the family itself is probably more functional than Tony’s brood. And despite showing some of the benefits of polygamy, it makes no attempt to depict it as attractive, either. For example, by the end of the first episode, Bill has to pharmaceutically address his erectile-dysfunction, brought on, no doubt, by the never-ending needs of his three wives. Also, the obvious disapproval in the community for polygamy requires the whole family to clam up.

A weird scene in the second episode shows Bill talking with a friend who appears at first to be leering at Margene, then announces he’s “seeing someone new,” adding to his string of wives, which is apparently good news in the world of polygamy but definitely adds to the show’s ick factor.

POOR SPELLING Speaking of train-wrecks, don’t forget to check out Tori Spelling’s reality-drama show on VH1, So noTORIous. Her parents aren’t even talking to her anymore because of it, so you just know it’s got to be good.