Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

“Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book Only Child and she is a violent psychopath, and we’re warming up.” Thus begins Mil’s explanation as to why he and his girlfriend argue so much. Colored by his dry British sarcasm, Mil’s site is comprised of voluminous notes chronicling the details of the constant, ridiculous fireworks between him and his German girlfriend Margret (“Margret, from the German ‘M’ Argr et’ meaning ‘to be dangerously insane’”). Hilarious and very addictive. Choice examples: “I was watching [Good Will Hunting] with Margret the other day and she squeezed my arm and said, ‘That’s how I’d like you to look.’ ‘Ahhh,’ you’re all sitting there saying, ‘But Mil, you’re already practically Ben Affleck’s double.’ True enough. But Margret was talking about Robin Williams. Aged 45. With a beard. Kill me.” “I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I’d eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this ‘deliberately to annoy’ her.”